The Power of the Gap

Viktor Frankl (1905-1997), the Austrian  psychiatrist and survivor of the holocaust wrote in his book, Man's search for meaning, " Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness."

Stephen Covey made the idea popular in his books and seminars, by saying: "There is a gap between stimulus and response."
Many may think that we come into this world with a clean slate, starting fresh, from scratch. This may be a nice thought but not real. We are the product of history, we inherit from our forefathers not only what we look like physically but also what our emotional landscape is made of. 
We may not have much choice about the physical appearance but  we have many more choices in the internal realms of emotion and spirit.
Viktor Frankl witnessed, first hand, the horrors of the concentration camp. He watched the prisoners, how they coped with the intense challenges of survival. He noticed that those who had given up were more likely to die and that those who had hope had a far greater chance of survival. All were exposed to the same circumstances but not all responded the same: their fate depended greatly on their response.

Thank goodness we are not faced with those atrocious challenges the prisoners of the camps were faced with. Nevertheless, we have to face life's daily challenges, although minute in comparison, still seem daunting at times.

 Let us consider that space, Frankl talked about: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response." What does that mean, practically speaking?
It means when we get hit by an emotional impulse which may come as a result of, what may feel like prior emotional programming, we have a choice: either respond automatically or stop and choose differently.

When we respond automatically, going straight from stimulus to response, we are a slave of our programming. Our best judgment has no time to make corrections or adjustments. This is usually when mistakes are made. What we say and do become cause for regret.


Frankl also says:"In those choices lie our growth and our happiness."  All of us have a desire to grow internally, be a better person this year than we were last year. How can this be done? It can be achieved through the new choices we make. For example, if we had the propensity to blame others constantly and disciplined ourselves to stop and think-and then realized that it is not really their fault- then, and only then, can we change course and make a new choice. This time , not to blame, but to understand and even have compassion. This is growth and this is freedom. Freedom from the chains that bind us to condemnation, accusation and misery.

What a wonderful key to happiness and freedom Frankl gave the world by sharing his wisdom and insights found through deep struggle and suffering. What a gift! 
May we use it wisely, raise ourselves up and awaken to the world of freedom and happiness that starts from within. We hold the keys in our own hands, they are called choices.
©  Doris Crompton